10 Basic Rules For A New Relationship

The beginning of a relationship can be a tricky course to navigate. Guys (like me) aren't so good at guessing what women think or want, and our stupidity can lead to otherwise easily avoidable arguments. Setting some basic rules with your new flame may help you get past the small stuff and start enjoying your lives together.

Here are ten guidelines to smooth the road with your new beau.

1. P.D.A. regulation. People have different comfort levels when it comes to couples behavior in public. Find the line (holding hands, smooching, heated necking on the subway platform) and don't cross it.

2. One day a week. Decide on one day every week you can spend together, no one else invited. Everyone is busy; designating together-time is healthy for any relationship.

3. No suffocation. Being together is great—acting like conjoined twins is not. Respect each other's space and don't take it so seriously if he asks for some time to himself.

4. Don't talk about the future until it's time to talk about the future. Nothing freaks a guy out like the prospect of kids before he's actually ready to have them. Don't think he doesn't want to be with you if he shies away from the topic. He just enjoys the way things are and isn't quite ready to add a mini-me to the mix. Getting Your Guy To Talk About The Future

5. Forge friendships with your partner's pals… Not that you have to be one of the bros, but it's nice for him, and you, if feel comfortable around his buddies.

6. …But don't forget your own. Don't drop the friends who were with you before he showed up. Ditching the gals will lead to feelings of resentment and neglect, and if your relationship comes to an end, you'll want that circle of support.

7. Don't hide things. You don't need to tell him about the time you hooked up with your father's golf buddy, but it's a good idea to tell him you're still friends with your ex before he runs into the two of you on the street.

8. Loosen up. Don't start a fight because he glanced at the attractive girl that just walked by. Likewise, he shouldn't get worked up just because you said Jake Gyllenhaal is hot. It's not like either of you is trying to sleep with them (unless you are, in which case you should reevaluate your role in this twosome). His Wandering Eye. What Does It Mean?

9. Don't kiss and tell. This is a relationship, not an elongated one-night stand. There's no need to talk about what goes on in the bedroom at the water cooler.

10. No assumptions or guessing games. Don't force him to guess what you really mean by, "It's OK if we don't go out on my birthday." Being upfront with your feelings will prevent many conflicts.

Dating Tips: 9 Simple Things Women Want

By YourTango.com

Photo: iStockphoto.com/© Izabela Habur

Besides the meaning of life and the ingredients of hot dogs, many a man has questioned, "What exactly do women want?" We're not playing coy here, we know we're complex creatures. And, true, we operate on a different wavelength than men.

But women aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be. The proof? We polled the YourTango staff and compiled a list of 9 simple things women want. Note: you won't find diamond rings or other fancy things anywhere on this list. While many women really do want luxury goods from men, when you break it down they are just physical representations of some of the points on this list. We promise.

1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies, and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated: Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.

2. Romance. It's another night on the couch with takeout and TiVo? Just because we're staying in doesn't mean the evening can't be romantic. Light a few candles and see where the night leads. Treat us like your girlfriend, even after we become your wife. Date nights, physical affection in the car, kissing like when we first started dating -- all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids to be bathed. Bring home flowers for no reason. We're not talking $100 bouquets of roses here. Even the $10 bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.

3. Time. We understand relationships can't be all wine and roses; simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. This includes helping around the house. The realities of a 21st-century relationship are that both partners probably work. If you happen to get home before we do, why not vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry? If you take the garbage out without being asked, chances are you'll be getting a big ole smooch when you come back.

4. Dinner. Of the homemade variety. You may not be good at cooking and you may not know how to boil water. But greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks (or whatever you can wrastle up) makes us swoon, because it shows that you've been thinking about us and our hectic day.

5. Communication. Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is that we often notice our wobbly thighs and forget about our gorgeous eyes. So let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Words of appreciation aren't half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful.

6. Consistency. This doesn't mean be boring and predictable. It means that we know you will (usually -- no one is perfect!) give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you're coming at this with the same desires and energy as we are goes a long way to making us feel secure.

7. Engagement. Of the mental kind, not the "I'm getting married in the morning" kind. You don't have to like everything we like (we might be a little concerned if you do), but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport, or a hobby, goes a long way. Listen when we talk to you. We're not speaking just so we can hear our own voice; we want to connect with you and this is one valuable way we do this. This also means paying attention to the little things. Whether it's the name of your best friend's husband or the fact that you hate Nicolas Cage movies, it's the little things you remember about us that's so endearing.

8. Humor and Humility. These two tend to go hand in hand. This doesn't mean that you have to crack jokes or entertain us, but just being able to laugh at yourself is enough. Guys who take themselves too seriously bring everyone down.

9. Challenge. Not the kind that makes a relationship constant work, but the good kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be, or achieve what we desire. Studies show that partners who prod each other to meet goals -- in other words, don't support lazy or bad habits -- are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.

What Makes Men Fall in Love

It’s a baffling question: Is there some specific moment or event that makes a guy suddenly decide “Yes, I think I love her”? Well, the answer isn’t clear-cut, but there are some general principles. “Men have certain innate needs that must be met before they truly feel connected to you,” says Paul Dobransky, MD, author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love. “When a guy realizes, consciously or not, that you’re ideal on all these levels, that’s when he’ll commit.”

Boiled down, guys have four primal relationship desires that are sometimes sated by the tiniest of moves by you. Here, experts explain with examples so you can put these insights to use when your guy is at the brink.

The Desire: To Protect

Believe it or not, the so-called stoic sex is hardwired to nurture. Sheltering you from harm makes him feel studly, which makes him feel good. “Not that you should act helpless, but letting him see your vulnerable side will bring him closer because it unlocks his instincts to take care of you,” says David Givens, PhD, author of Love Signals. So give him chances to take charge, and thank him after he does. When a guy associates you with feeling like Superman, of course he’ll want to couple up. These little things can draw out his hero side.

Give him a job. Ask him to fix or build you something. Performing concrete tasks is a way of bonding that enhances his sense of success.

Ask his opinion. Whether it’s about your 401(k) options or the best travel sites, it telegraphs that you value his brain as much as you do his brawn.

Wear soft materials. Delicate textures like rayon, silk, and fur trigger an intense response in men. These fabrics accentuate your softer, feminine nature, which heightens his amorous instincts.

Don his clothes. It shows that you’ve chosen him over other guys — sexy.

Dating Tips: 9 Ways to Make Your Relationship Last

By relationship expert Stacy D. Phillips for Hitched

Photo: Getty Images

As a divorce attorney, I pride myself on having saved some marriages during my 25 years in practice. I would very much like to see people work things out, if they can. I have come to realize that if couples try one or more of the following 9 suggestions, they may be able to keep their relationship from hitting the rocks in the first place.

1. Delineate "yours," "mine," and "ours." If you have finances that should be placed in each of these three categories (for example, you have an inheritance and he has a savings account he accumulated before the marriage, and you also have a checking account to which you both contribute), have an upfront conversation about those assets and what belongs to whom. Moreover, talk about your time away from "together" activities, like he wants to bowl with the guys on Tuesday nights and you want to attend your yoga class on Wednesday. Respect these important delineations. Doing so will make the relationship stronger.

2. Carve out time to be together. Sure, you're busy working and attending meetings, but how important are those things if your relationship falls apart? Make time to do things together that you both enjoy. This could be anything from grocery shopping to taking in a movie. Take regular vacations together -- at least a couple of long weekends and, better yet, a couple of long vacations (more than a weekend jaunt). Commit to a weekly date night and make it as unbreakable as that all-important staff meeting at work.

3. Take care of yourself. Spend time every day on your appearance and your physical well-being. Work out regularly, eat healthy, and stay fit. Not only will your partner like looking at you, but you'll feel better about yourself.

4. Make sure communication goes both ways. Many relationships fail because of misunderstandings. Effective communication skills are necessary if your relationship is going to survive. If there is a hint or vibe that your partner is disconnected or you are unhappy about something, do not ignore those signals or feelings. Approach your mate and suggest an open discussion. You may be frustrated, angry, or hurt and so may he or she, but always stay calm and reasonable. Your goal should be to resolve differences, and the only viable way of doing so is through open and direct communication.

5. Criticize gently. Don't judge too harshly. If you criticize, do so in the same way you would want others to criticize you. Be kind and considerate.

6. Never stop courting one another. Gifts, compliments, and a loving embrace go a long way, especially when they are a surprise. Send unexpected greeting cards, slap a Post-It note where you know your mate will find it, keep those flowers coming in a "just because" way. Treat your partner with the same courtesies you did when you were dating. A terrific mindset is to pretend you are trying to win your partner all over again.

7. Keep the flame burning. Keep your romance alive despite the chaos and craziness life can present from living in the midst of sheer reality. Resolve to offer up romantic suggestions for your partner's pleasure, even if only occasionally, like cooking her favorite meal when you know she's had an impossible day, or entice him into a bubble bath with you just for the fun of it. Little gestures like these from time to time can ensure that the flame you once had burns forever.

8. Spell out your terms of endearment. Call out the expectations for one another in the form of the "terms" of your relationship together. Put them in a contract, if you like. This contract will simply clarify and document those needs and wants that mean a lot to you. For example, though he typically runs late, your agreement might specify those times when he agrees not to be late; she may agree to keep her spending at a certain limit, though she typically has little restraint as she traipses through the mall. Discussing these boundaries, as well as your needs and wants, can prevent either of you from stepping over the line and causing irritation. It is often the disappointments (needs and wants, gone unexpressed) that bring down a relationship.

9. Renegotiate your contract. Your relationship will evolve, and your needs and wants will change right along with it. Once a year, it's a good idea to review, update, or revise your contract with each other -- whether it is verbal or written. Be mindful, however, not to allow such a "contract" to ruin your relationship.

Jackson's Final Farewell

GLENDALE, California - Paris Jackson wept as she stepped into the mausoleum where her father, Michael, was to be entombed. Katherine Jackson, overcome by sorrow, turned back when she was faced with her son's final resting place.

On a sultry Thursday evening, amid a sea of white flowers and with a bejeweled crown placed atop his casket by his children, the King of Pop was given an intimate, private version of the lavish public memorial held shortly after his death in June.

The funeral at Glendale Memorial Park was simple but touching, according to one guest. The person, who asked not to be identified because of the sensitivity of the day, said Gladys Knight's performance of the hymn "Our Father" (The Lord's Prayer) soared in the vast mausoleum and moved many to tears.

When it was over, many of the 200 mourners hugged each other. Among them were Elizabeth Taylor, Jackson's ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley, Barry Bonds and Macaulay Culkin.

The Rev. Al Sharpton, who gave a eulogy at the public event and at Thursday's service, also extolled Knight's earlier performance of "His Eye is on the Sparrow."

"Gladys Knight sang her heart out. Now we prepare to lay him to rest," Sharpton posted on his Twitter account during the service that was held outside and then within the marble mausoleum.

The mourners followed the crowned, lushly flower-draped casket as Jackson's five brothers — each wearing a bright red tie and a single crystal-studded glove — carried it into the mausoleum. The 11-year-old Paris cried as the group entered the imposing building and was comforted by her aunt, LaToya.

Paris and brothers Prince Michael, 12, and Prince Michael II, 7, known as Blanket, began the service by placing the crown on their father's golden casket. They were composed through most of the hour-and-a-half ceremony.

As it ended, Katherine Jackson appeared extremely weary and had to be helped to her car, according to the guest. Earlier, she had a difficult time going into the mausoleum; she was overcome, turned back, and it wasn't clear if she went in at all, the guest said.

The Jackson family's tardy arrival delayed the service for nearly two hours; no explanation was given to mourners. The invitation notice indicated the service would begin promptly at 7 p.m.; it began closer to 8:30.

The 77-year-old Taylor and others were left waiting in the late summer heat, with the temperature stuck at 90 degrees just before sunset, and some mourners fanned themselves with programs for the service. As darkness fell, police escorted the family's motorcade of 31 cars, including Rolls-Royces and Cadillacs, from their compound in Encino to Forest Lawn, about a 20-minute journey, with the hearse bearing Jackson's body at the end.

About 250 seats were arranged for mourners over artificial turf laid roadside at the mausoleum, and a vivid orange moon, a mark of the devastating wildfire about 10 miles (16 kilometers) distant, hung over the cemetery.

There were two oversized portraits of a youthful, vibrant Jackson mounted next to the casket amid displays of white lilies and roses. At Jackson's lavish public memorial, red roses covered his casket.

A large, blimp-like inflated light, the type used in film and television production, and a boom camera hovered over the seating area placed in front of the elaborate marble mausoleum. The equipment raised the possibility that the footage would be used for the Jackson concert documentary "This Is It," or perhaps the Jackson brothers' upcoming reality show.

More than 400 media credentials were issued to reporters and film crews who remained at a distance from the service and behind barricades. The few clusters of fans who gathered around the secure perimeter that encircled the cemetery entrance struggled to see.

Maria Martinez, 25, a fan from Riverside, California, who was joined by a dozen other Jackson admirers at a gas station near the security perimeter, gave a handful of pink flowers she had picked at a nearby park to a man with an invitation driving into the funeral.

"Can you please put these flowers on his grave?" she told him. "They were small and ugly, but I did that with my heart. I'm not going to be able to get close, so this is as close as I could get to him."

The man consented, adding, "God bless."

Glendale police said all went smoothly and there were no arrests.

Jackson will share eternity at Forest Lawn with the likes of Clark Gable, Jean Harlow and W.C. Fields, entombed alongside them in the mausoleum that will be all but off-limits to adoring fans who might otherwise turn the pop star's grave into a shrine.

The closest the public will be able to get to Jackson's vault is a portion of the mausoleum that displays "The Last Supper Window," a life-size stained-glass re-creation of Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece. Several 10-minute presentations about the window are held regularly 365 days a year, but most of the building is restricted.

The Jackson family had booked an Italian restaurant in Pasadena for a gathering Thursday night, and family members and guests were seen coming and going late into the night.

"I feel like I watched Michael finally given some peace and I made a commitment to make sure his legacy and what he stood for lives on," Sharpton said outside the restaurant around midnight. "So at one level we're relieved; another level we're obligated."

The ceremony ends months of speculation that the singer's body would be buried at Neverland Ranch, in part to make the property a Graceland-style attraction. An amended copy of Jackson's death certificate was filed Thursday in Los Angeles County to reflect Forest Lawn as his final resting place.

In court on Wednesday, it was disclosed that 12 burial spaces were being purchased by Jackson's estate at Forest Lawn Glendale, about eight miles (13 kilometers) north of downtown Los Angeles, but no details were offered on how they would be used.

The King of Pop died a drug-induced death June 25 at age 50 as he was about to embark on a comeback attempt. The coroner's office has labeled the death a homicide, and Jackson's death certificate lists "injection by another" as the cause.

Dr. Conrad Murray, Jackson's personal physician, told detectives he gave the singer a series of sedatives and the powerful anesthetic propofol to help him sleep. But prosecutors are still investigating, and no charges have been filed.